I think I'll skip

An endless left on this perfect friday.  I think I'll pass on this one.  why?  you may ask.  well, it's fairly well documented how challenging this wave is.  And you really need to have your A-game on to be able to squeeze the juice out of this desert nugget.  Lest it squeezes the human juice out of your frail tissues.

 
I compare it to a recent article I read: 3 women/waves to fall in love with.  The beachie was the party girl, the girl next door - up for fun.  The slab was the cool bitch - try me if you dare.  The pointbreak was the supermodel - you better know how to impress me because I see jokers like you all the time.  When I'm at the bar and the girl with mile long legs and angelic features walks in, I'm not going to waste my time there.  Some other guy can do all the hard work there.  I know my limitations.  I'll just survey the scene with cool beverage in hand.

Or maybe I should just man the fuck up and dare to live the dream.

Perfect Fridays - also making a much needed come back

'Y' for 'Yowzers, look at that'

We've seen this wave before here on Perfect Fridays and it is magificant.  Look at that.  It's school workbook sketch perfect.  And the way the colours in the bowl make such neat, defined lines lend to it being the work of a human hand, not so much a natural phenonemon.

But, then again, consider the guy in the foreground.  Why is he not riding it?  Or anybody else?  We could say that such a wave deserves to go un-surfed...but, fuck that!  Someone should be getting the best barrel of their life on that thing.  But then again, look deeper.

That wave is not small.  And it's fast.  Look at the bend in it.  It's going to zip through that next section with pace, and you'll have to pick a perfect line to avoid being sucked over as well.  Because, you know it's going to drain just by looking at the beast.

And so, maybe, for our own sakes, we can just leave this one un-surfed.  But, as you may know, it's an awful thing to watch unreal waves go by as you sit and cry on the beach.

It's the weekend.  See you on the beach.

Tuesday Tubes: unnamed, untame

Not sure who or where it was taken.  Thought it was Reynolds initially, just that fringe and he did feature in the rest of the gallery, but...well, the man is very capable, but he's too natural to be riding that switchfoot.

Like the rest of the sequence, we'll just leave it to your imagination.  Go ahead and day dream a like.  Could you backdoor, backhand, pig dog this slab.  Of course you could. 

From What Youth, possibly my newest obsession.

not-so-perfect Friday

Yesterday was a sad day for many surfers in the Cape.  A vicious fatal shark attack took place at Koeel Bay, a place I know well and have spent many great sessions at.  I'm not going to say to much on it here.  I have my opinions on the sharks, on cage diving, on the Shark Men who are here doing research at the moment, but am saving those for other channels.

It's horrible news for all of us.  Death never sits easy, but in the jaws of a wild creature it strikes deep within us.  A primal fear. 

The most curious reaction has not so much been the grief, but the anger and blame.  A curious human trait we harbour.  It has to be someone's fault, least of all our own. 

I try and focus on good vibes here.  And, that should continue.  Let's hope the victim enjoyed one last great wave before going to the big reef in the sky.

via aquabumps

It's good for you: Over the falls

1st in a new series of those unpleasant experiences that make you a better person.

I got pitched on Friday.  Not quite like this guy, but it was solid one.

via these guys.  Not sure who that is, but the wave has to be Chopes

It's a dredging left nearby.  It's been called the cold water Bingin, but it's a bit meatier, and not nearly as clean.  There's a tight local crew as well, so I couldn't believe my luck when I showed up to big 4-5 sets pulling through with only one other guy suiting up for an empty line-up.  The swell was a bit messy, but that was pretty much the only thing wrong with it.  I snagged a few good ones.  I stacked a few late drops, but managed to stick two very rude ones a got nice pits for my efforts.  I also got worked over, properly.

I'd made the first section, and was lining up for the second one which was looking to pitch.  I went high to come back down with speed.  I'm not sure if it was the wave or my foot placing, but I stayed high, watched the trough suck out and the lip curl out under my feet and got flung.  I managed to twist mid air and landed on my back and was waiting for hardness below to meet me.  It didn't happen amazingly.  Somehow, my back fin managed to poke me on my hip and then my board spun on its axis and it tore a new hole in suit.  Not that you would notice, unless you know the holes in it as well as I do.  I surfaced and the board was still poking me as it forced itself up into my hip - a bit too close to my nuts for comfort.  I got off lightly I reckon.  And, I paid a few more dues in doing so.  A few waves later I managed to set a clean rail in a bomb and got flung out clean the other side.  It's all worth it.

Happy 4/5s of a Monday, folks.  Another short week followed by an equally long weekend.  And there's plenty going on:  Bells contest kicks off tomorrow, and then it's Easter.  And have you seen the forecast?  Hells yes!  It's going to crank.  Not sure how much i'll be updating this over the next while but when i manage there will hopefully be tales of daring do, savage beatings, hell sets and perhaps even a request for replacment boards.

Roll on winter!

That fine line

Ok.  Look at Ry Craike over there and imagine his life about then.  Ry surfs goofy, so I'm not sure how he got himself in that position.  Maybe he took off switch foot.  Maybe he did not.  Any way, he's about to take it.  Hard.

Anyway, ignore him.  Just pretend he's not in the picture.  Now look at the wave.  Now look back.  Imagine you on that wave.  How sick would that be. Very sick.  That much.

Now imagine you are Ry and you could be screaming down that face, but you're not.  Instead you're just screaming.  And you wish you weren't because you're going to need fully inflated lungs in the next few moments.

That's the fine line.

Pic by Andy Foxx from this guy.

A Silent Set

It will never be a pure, but compared to the background din of traffic and voices in the city where you live, it might as well be silent.  The shore and the sea compose a backing track to the otherwise quiet world.  In the windless air, the sounds pass easily to your ears.  But apart from that, there is nothing else in this haven.

From the quietness, a set appears.  It's only discernable by the shifting colours as it rushes unheralded below the surface.  You splash to prone position and push your hands through the water.  The disturbance creates pools of sound, but these self made swirls are drowned as you feel the ocean draining off the reef below you.  The first wave rears up with serpentine poise, mesmerising you with its gaze and smooth skinned curves.

From Liquid Mocean

Effortlessly, it flicks forward and in an instant the soft washing on the shore is shattered with a crack and the stung reef roars in agony.   Still captivated by the sight, you watch the furore between the force unstoppable and the object immovable.  The barrel twists towards you and the beast on top exhales, a loud hiss of spray covers you and the world is all mist and noise.  You feel yourself slide over the back and you keep on stroking.  Another stealthy creature lies in wait.  Maybe its your wave.  Maybe you're its prey. 

The serenity seems like a lifetime ago, but that's doesn't matter.  The noise of the other world you left is pushed even deeper into depths of memory, and the clashing around you resonates within and hums in every sinew.

Its Friday.  Charge hard - on land and at sea.

The teller of lies

Ah, time for a little rant.  Just a little one.  What's the the diminutive of rant? Rint? Rantie? Runt?  I digress.

Back in the day, boffins were building these machines called computers.  Until then, computers had actually been a profession for the guys who were the most good at maths.  At the time, IBM reckoned the world market for computers would be in the single digits.  They were most amped on using them for defence.  But, they were also pretty amped that they could forecast the weather - years into the future.

When they started realising that they would fall short, a new theory was born to explain why - Chaos theory.  A butterfly flaps its wings...and all that.  The crux is, there are too many variables, and too much data for even today's supercomputers to handle. 

But, as surfers, we put an inordinate amount of trust in forecasting websites.  You know the ones I'm talking about.  The one's that drag you out of bed in the cold and dark and make you spend two hours driving in the wrong direction.  The one's that make you miss your child's birth, first day at school, or expulsion hearing.  The information that leads to a thousand phonecalls, emails, sms's, bbms, whats apps and eventually to one bad decision.  Those ones.

Lying assholes.

They do get it right occasionally, but now in the change of seasons, they are woefully out.  My own theory is there's just too much going on meteorogically in this seasonal wobble for the models to reliably spit it out there. 

As a result, this morning, I left home packing a four board quiver extending up to 8'3".  I ended up surfing my twin-finned fish.  Fun, yes.  I had two really fun waves and so I write with the smile of someone who started the day with a wave.   I'll still be smiling when may face lands in my pillow much later this evening. 

But, when you march out the door packing heat, and return a few hours later with big boards still dry, you've got to feel like a bit of a chop.  And I lay that blame (yes, i'm pointing fingers at others) at the feet of the few forecasting sites i regularly trawl.  Assholes.

Of course, the real solution is to bone up on the original meteo data, learn what it means by study and practice, and then use your intuition to work out what the hell is going on that way.  In the meantime, I'm just going to curse my own dependency on relying on free stuff online.

Happy wednesday.  And enjoy this pic below.  My surf this am had very little to do with it.

via No complaints if I rocked up here expecting something else.

Just a classic

and so it needs a place here.

 

.

I'm not sure if Hot & Glassy, or Sleek Zeke the Peak are my best characters.  Swell Mel also looks pretty cool, but I reckon the swell character needs to be more angry, or at least have an evil form that comes out from time to time, like when he feeds off the frustration of surfers in small gutless waves. 

Man, I just want to flip through the non-existent pages behind that cover.

Original artwork by Rick Griffin.  Follow the link and check his work out.

tuesday tubes returns!

well, the only way to get back in to this is force it. 

We're relaunching tuesday tubes with one of the best in the business.  And by best in the business, I mean, he's actually turned getting barrelled into a business.  Not a bad job to have.  If you can get it.

Not all pleasure though.  A lot of hard work goes into this.  And a lot of pain.  These aren't your garden variety barrels.

Have a gander at this, and then ask yourself:  where is My eyes wont dry 4?

credits to the man himself

Twiggy and the art of balance

where do we start with Twiggy?  There's so much that he does right in and out of the water.

Something that's quite impressive, for me at least, is how well balanced he always is.  This photo is awesome, but isn't unique.  We've seen him air-drop colossal waves like this before.  He sticks them most of the time.  He shrugs when he doesn't.  That's impressive in its own right.

But something that's striking is that he always has his arms close to or by his sides.  This pic shows his trailing elbow up, but it's still only level, maybe even below his shoulder, and that's about as high up as i've ever seen it go.  His leading arm is low, down keeping that centre of gravity down near his hips or below.  He begins well balanced, and so is able to keep that balance through-out and I think that's one his secrets to being able to ride waves like this.

Of course, the real trick is keeping that control from the start.  But, you will see a lot of other guys in similar situations with arms out wide trying to find that balance.  They're a league behind.  Make no mistake, they're still right up there, but it's composure like this that allows Twig, Dorian and Greg Long to be the stand-outs when others are just trying to survive.

In a way what these guys are doing is like a very finely tuned feat of engineering.  Everything has to the just right, slight flaws here and there are magnified to the point where the whole system fails.  This begins with lining yourself up right.  No small feat.  The take-off zone is the size of a sports field and you probably have about a 10m bracket in that for a given wave.  And on the bigger days I've surfed in my life, the amount of water moving around out there is terrifying by itself.  Just something else to up the ante.

Then there's board speed.  We know this is about fitness - obviously.  But, like a swimmer will spend hours with his coach refining his stroke, I wonder if Twig and his crew do the same...  It would be interesting to hear from the man himself about this.  The fitness itself needs little explanation.  It's of a very high standard.  Need I continuea?

Then there's the boards.  A mate of mine said the other day that length is not what you want on a board.  I was about to contradict him, when I realised he's right.  What you want is volume and planing surface.  Unfortunately, the by-product of this is length.  Also, another mate of mine went down to DVG - go-to guy for guns in Cape Town to add some heat to his quiver.  He asked Dave about Twiggy riding shorter boards in bigger conditions.  Dave just shook his head.  "Don't worry about that.  That's just Twiggy."

Like I said, another league.

 photo via quirarte

Curtain call

Curtains.  It's curtains for you.  Let's close the curtain on this.  The Iron curtain. The boerewors curtain.  The lentil curtain.  Curtains seem to draw a definitive line in our language.


Not when we surf.  Behind the curtain is the best place to be.  It may be fleeting.  It may seem to draw out for ever, as time bends the stage and it stretches out infinitely, never calling the act to close.  The dance carries on, hidden to all but those up in the best seats in the house.

Photo: Nathan Smith

But sometimes the best place to witness the performance is to be onstage yourself.

Check the source out - you will spend the next 5 mins of your life better that way.

What's it like...

I'm not a very accomplished surfer.  I've had some good waves on occasion.  I've done some pretty hectic stuff too, but these are the exceptions, rather than the norm.  If, like in other competitive sports, you're only as good as your last performance, well, then I'm not very good at all.

But I have been barrelled.  I've even made it out occasionally.  But, I'm not at the point where it's happening consistently, or where tube rides are more my own making, rather than fortiutous alignment of circumstances - conditions, me being there, and getting everything spot on right.

So, it's weird then that most of my best rides, and all of my tubes, I can barely remember.  They exist in my mind like a dream.  So real one moment, and then a smudge of a memory a moment later.  There's the elation, but once that's gone, it's only a few flickering images that you're left with.  And an insatiable hunger for more.

It's hard to explain why.  Perhaps, you're just so focussed in the moment, that all other brain functions shut down.  Your brain's recording switches off as all that's important is the now.  Maybe it's the adrenalin that cuts off the memory.  I don't know.

Some of Clark Little's magic.  It's even better when its your own...I think.

That fact of the matter its so much more than a visual experience.  I do know that much.  Clark Little has made a career out of recording these images.  It's great.  They're very pretty and it's about as close as most people will ever get to the real thing.  But it doesn't begin to explain what's going on in there.

Reading an article in an old mag the other day and they were saying how the best written words and post surf banter doesn't measure up to a good video section.  And they're right, mostly I guess.  Shadow puppets to flesh and blood.  But, like the Allegory of the Cave, there's always another level up that we can't imagine till we experience it.

Gratuitous gallery of girls duckdiving from below

It's Friday Folks.   And the beers do beckon.  So, because I'm feeling lazy, and generous, here's a gallery featuring girls duck diving.  Enjoy.

 

Clear water, bikinis, athletic figures, flowing hair, water-proof cameras - they just all come together.

As a side point - google images for any surf theme see what comes up.  99% males come up.  Now search duckdive.  Yep, Google seems to dig it too.  Why are girls at their best beneath the waves?  Who cares, it's just awesome.

And if you think i'm pervy, wait till you see the GGoGDFA.  That's the Gratuitous gallery of girls duckdiving from above.

And I know i'm being lazy and not crediting the photos - but if you just do the googling you'll find them all there.  And guys - love your work.

Normal coverage and professionalism to resume Monday.

Not long ago, at a beach not too far, far away*

*If you recognise the reference in the title - congratulations!  You're also a nerd.

Well, flying in the face of yesterday's post, it then rained hard, I put on shoes, and later even a hoodie.  Then a status update mentioned a few good waves here.  And a few there.  Then, just to rub a bit of salt into those non-surfing related wounds in scratching, zigzag offers up this pic.

To everyone bemoaning lack of waves:  [derisive] hahahahaha

They claim it was yesterday.  Could well have been.  They could well be lying, too.  They do that from time to time, just to throw you off.  I know where it is.  If you're Cape based, you probably do too.  Still, I'm not naming it.

But there's a lesson here:  If you're optimistic, and dialled, you will score more than your whinging mate who only surfs selectively.  Stoke fuels itself.  It's a virtuous circle.

So, I'm counting things to be stoked about now:

1. New GoPro2 has arrived (SD memory card not included)
2. Invitation to a yacht to watch the Volvo Inshore racing on Saturday
3. Wavescape board auction tonight.  Always fun

I'll combine 1 with 2 and put the results up here.

4.  That forecast I was whinging about.  Ja, they changed that.  Wind is taking a long weekend.  Which would be fine, except I was kind of hoping it would huss for the boat race on Sat... nope, just checked again...back to its typical windiness.

4.  I'm going sailing on Saturday and the wind is set to howl.  Yes, please!
5.  Was eyeing out dad's old windsurfers the other day.  Why not?

Shot ZZ and AVG, for the pic.  there is one of those funny circle c things in the corner, but I chatted to him about this sort of plagiarism, and he was pretty cool with it.

Wanting Winter

It's overcast outside now.  I'm wearing jeans, but i'm not bothering with shoes.  Some rain was predicted - just a bit of drizzle, but it might not happen.  And then from tomorrow, as far as the forecast shows, summer stretches out like barren plain.  The season of waiting.  Everyday like the day before.  No swell.  Strong South Easter in the morning.  Gale force in the afternoon.

I find myself wanting winter.  I have said before that surfing makes me love every season, and this is still true.  But, it's possible to love one more than another.  Yesterday I rose with the sun and suited up before walking the familiar path through the dunes.  The morning sand on the beach was still cool.  I could see tiny sharks through the clear water as they hunted crabs on the bank.  It was small, and lacking in power.  I surfed for 2 hours. It was fun.  I walked home, had a cold shower outside. I made a cup of coffee and still had a full working day.  You can't do that in winter.

 

But, I'm already yearning for short intense days.  Gun-metal skies and soupy seas.  When you wander the coast looking for waves.  Tyres splashing down muddy roads.  Putting on cold suits in the pre-dwan, and then taking it off after dusk.  Alone on the beach.  Fresh rain running off your hood, washing the salt from your face. 

Power, more than you can handle.  Being held down in the dark, and rising again to taste the chilled air, tainted with the rotten kelp ripped from the reef.  Clutching OB's in your craven hands and putting the sweetness to your crusted blue lips. 

.

These pics come courteousy of Drew Innes, whose making a film on surfing in New England: The Winter Albatross.  I think it will be quite worthwhile.  And give us Captonians another reason to shut-up and take it.

Pipe - plain and simple

It's an interesting time to watch the progress of surfing - from tow-ins, to throwing yourself out of a plane to tow-in, from tropical reef passes, to polar slabs, from waiting a month to hear about a contest to watching live in your bedroom. Yep, things have come on a hell of a lot since I was a grom.

One thing stays constant in this, though.  Behold: the one, the only, the never to be surpassed in terms of the ulitmate proving grounds - Pipeline.

Sion Milosky, doing what he did best

Maybe one thing has changed - the name.  Does anyone still call it 'The Banzai Pipeline' anymore?  Or are we just so familiar with it we can drop the formality?  So, it's got its full name, but you can call it Steve or Jerry or Daz or whatever.  It doesn't mind.  Or does it?  I got into the habit of referring to Jerry Collins as Mr Collins just in case he was within earshot and thought I was being disrespectful.   Remember:  This is still the world's most deadly wave.

And it must be the most beautiful and deadly as well - a coral version of a supermodel assassin.  I googled 'pipeline' to see what came up.  3rd on the list, if you're curious - with the Banzai moniker attached.  click on images, and about a full on 1/3 of all images are of this belter.  The remainder are mostly of tubes of oil gushing through what would otherwise be pristine desert or tundra whatever fills the space between oil reserves and humanity. 

I remember hearing Lance Slabbert talk years ago about Hawaii and the light there - particularly on the North Shore.  And that combined with the brutality of it is what makes the most photographed wave in world.  You will get savager (more savage?) barrels elsewhere, but you will struggle to do it so photogenically.  And that is why Pipeline will always be the ultimate proving ground.

And I chose Pipe as today's theme because everyone's getting quite excited for the Pipemastes later this week.  There's quite the forecast.  I'll be settling in for a webcast and few beers for this one. 

Shot to Surfers Village for the pic.  Sion, we miss you man.  Hope you're charging hard on the other side.

Bruce, the Pink Pony, and that session at Cloudbreak

Bruce and his noble steed in the maw of the beast

You knew it was coming.  It just had to.  To fill in the gaps, in July this year, right about the time I was deciding whether it was worth driving to JBay to watch the Billabong pro (it wasn't), the perfect swell was bearing down on Fiji.  Slater was making a similar decision and went the same way as me.  He opted not to be in Jeffery's, much to the chagrin of the ASP who got all high and mighty and ordained themselves to give him a tiny slap on the wrist for being naughty.  Slater didn't care, he's proven that he didn't need the points and that everyone has short memories.  Pretty much everyone who criticised his decision was then quik (see what i did there) to extoll him when lifted his 11th title.  Not this elephant.

And while we talking of large beasts, Bruce, without tour commitments was only to happy to claim wave-of-the-day honours at this session.  And isn't that much better?  The approval from your mates, hi-fives and ching-chings post session versus some judges in a tower throwing numbers at you?  I reckon so.  Especially with when it's a session like the above.

Thanks ESPN for the image, taken by the legendary Tom Servais.  Do yourself a favour and hit the 'swell of the year' gallery.  It's Friday, and you've earned it.

Finding Humour

Occasionally, I'll stagger to my lap-top, pre-coffee and be quite surprised and a bit bemused by the forecast on Windguru.  I'll be looking at a very strange forecast for Cape Town.  The wind is weirdly consistent, and the temperature with it.  There's no angry purple brusies of a gale followed by calm powder blues a few hours later with the.  The arrows don't swing violently like a compass bedevilled by a magnet.  Swells come and go with long periods, usually from the NW, before vanishing to windswell.  My intial reaction is that the models must have it wrong.  Some flaw in the data processing is leading to this.  Of course, we never think that the problem lies with us.  A few seconds later, I might notice that the page is still on its Maui default, and I'm reading the forecast for the North Shore.  Ah, mystery solved - again, fool.

I don't know if any other adherents to the 'Guru have a similar experience.  But, one that it does lead to is being pretty aware of what's going on there in surfing's answer to the Colloseum.  I remember a few years back, Cape Town was blessed with an unbelievable summer run.  And in seeing both forecasts, it was often CT summer > NS winter.  This year, neither areas can claim a boon of waves.  CT has had a fairly quiet winter by our own high standards, followed by summer doldrums.  The North Shore has been blighted, too, and there's much grumbling from the rock.

Still, with the world's elite packing into a small stretch of coast, there is some action going down.  Guys have been practising their aerial punts - not usually part of the Hawaiian repertoire, but better than nothing.  And I only hope that with everyone in it together, a sense of humour is prevailing.  We all know the grumpiest beast on earth is the wave starved surfer.  So how do you think Jordy managed this situation?

Jordy Smith, and friend

Of everything that this photo says, from what WTF factor, to the indignity of a older man lying down, to the way his gunning for it, pretending like he's charging, but actually seeming quite a fool.  There's a lot that's unsaid too.  What was the build up?  Was Jordy being a bit greedy and did he deserve it?  Is the booger a chop who reckons his age earns him priority?  Does he know what Jordy is capable of and where he can put his fins, should he choose?

And afterwards?  Some stern words or just a scowl?  Laughing it off - because, let's face it, it is quite ridiculous.  A scared booger heading for the beach?  Jordy heading to the beach, because if that sort of thing is going down, is it really worth it?

My best part is Jordy's elbow: retracted in a sort of don't-touch-that-thing manner lest it rub off on you.  Close second is the rest of body language:  Seriously, bru?

Shot to Zigzag for the image, photo credit Kolesky/Nikon/Lexar

Frosty Mornings

I started today with a 1km sea swim off Clifton, clad in nothing but my steamiest speedo, a silicon cap and a pair of goggles to keep me warm.  It was a good, fresh start to the day.  The water was chilly - of course, but not that cold for Clifton.  A good work-rate kept hypothermia at bay.  It was a fine start to the day.

If you're wondering how deranged one would have to be to do that, then you can stop reading here.  There are plenty of gossip sites to pre-occupy you.  But, if you're intrigued, but a bit concerned with the cold - then consider these guys chilling out in Iceland.

Dane Reynolds, Tim Curran, Dan Malloy in the footsteps of Viking explorers.  Photo: Nathan Myers

Iceland.  A few years ago the suggestion of surfing there would have invoked derision.  Now, it's being billed as the 'cold water Hawaii'.  Ireland already taking the title of 'cold water Indo.'  And very cold water it is.  But, with H-bombs, Cyphers and the like entering the market, these places in higher latitudes are becoming options.  It's no profound statement that colder places are the new, if not last frontiers for surfing.  Look at that pic.  It must be cooking for it to be that cold, and have the crew pass up a wave like that and sit in the frosty morning, midday, midnight, whatever light that may be and wait for the next one.  One the subject of light, when you have 24 hours of daylight - well, the potential is as endless as the summer days.  You can hit a wave twice a day on the same tide.  There's something the tropics can't offer.  That and thermal springs to thaw out cold bones in between, things begin to sound very enticing closer to the poles.  Any takers?

Thanks to Surfer for the image